And now for something totally different. Weighing in at around 1600 words, this piece is set in the Fractured Earth universe though it’s very out of place compared to what I’ve released up until now. That’s kind of deliberate. One of the things I want to do with Fractured Earth is have a world where a lot of different stories can be told. Not all need to be serious.
This is the creation myth of a group of people from a world quite unlike our own. Occasionally they find there way here and interesting things happen. That’ll be the topic of a later story.
Like everything I’m posting this week, it’s much rougher than I would like. Given more time, I would probably cut 25% of it and completely rewrite another 70%. Oh well…
On the first day, Dedorak created the First People. And then, tired from his exertions, he napped.
On the second day, he awoke to find the First People were all dead as he had not created land for them to stand upon or air for them to breathe. This saddened him and so he went back to bed.
On the third day, Dedorak created the land. It took all day and was very tiring. He relaxed with a beer.
On the fourth day, he created air above the land. But he wasn’t sure exactly how that should work (physics never having been his strong suit) and so it too is full of dust. This only took half the morning. But breathing in all that dust gave him a coughing fit and so he went back to bed.
On the fifth day, he was sick of working in the dark and said “Let there be light” and there was. In the light, Dedorak could see that the land he had created was flat and featureless. This displeased him, so he kicked it a few times and created the Mountains of the North. This is why their greatest peak is the shape of a boot. Happy now, he decided to celebrate.
On the sixth day, he slept for he had a hangover.
On the seventh day, he created the Second People and watched them explore his land. But they grew weak and died, for they had no water or food. He asked them what was wrong, but had created them without language and they could not tell him. Dedorak sighed and got drunk again. This time on cheap bourbon.
On the eighth day, his hangover was especially bad and so he turned down the lights and that is why the sky is dimmer than fire. He also created the Great River when he mistook his land for the bathroom.
On the ninth day, he flushed the great river with clean(ish) water but got bored part way through and that is why the water of the Great River tastes funny. After his midday nap, he scattered seeds across patches of the land.
On the tenth day, he was frustrated because the seeds had not yet grown into trees and he punched his land. And this is how the Mountains of the South were created. He looked at the damage and decided that it was, in fact, an improvement.
On the eleventh day, he took the day off and went bowling in another universe. He lost.
On the twelfth day, his elder sibling came over and laughed at the poor state of his world. Dedorak said “I bet you can’t do better”. His sibling laughed and left, saying “At least I passed physics.” Dedorak thought he better get some more work done. His elder sibling was always showing him up and that just wouldn’t do. Not this time. And so Dedorak created the thousand-and-one animals of his world. And then he went back to bed.
On the thirteenth day, he woke surprised to discover the animals still alive. He felt successful and so created his people again. And so the Third People were made. And they were our ancestors and the first gifted with language.
On the fourteenth day, happy that his world now had thriving life, he was content to sit and watch. Naturally, he dozed. And in his dozing he rested his head on the land. And from his drool the Ocean of the East was created.
On the fifteenth day, he went to lunch with his family, with all the drinking that entails, and when he came home he mistook the land for his bed and crushed the Great Forest, flattened the Third People’s cities, and created the Plains of the West.
On the sixteenth day, he was hungover but saw that he had killed most of the Third People and he felt bad. Worse, those that were left were dying for it would seem that he had had a smoke with him when he slept and now the air was full of ash as well as dust. And so he changed the Third People into the Fourth People. And they are our forefathers. And then he went to bed, for his head hurt.
On the seventeenth day, he created the Fifth People and left them to live in the Mountains of the North.
On the eighteenth day, he created the Sixth People and left them to live in the Mountains of the South.
On the nineteenth day, his sibling returned. They too had been building a world and had chosen to take their seventh day as one of rest. The sibling mocked his land and gloated of their own. Dedorak created the Gesture Islands in the Ocean of the East after his sibling left and populated it with the Seventh People.
On the twentieth day, Dedorak left the door to the land open and his cat ran across it, knocking things over before curling up and sleeping. The Third People suffered the brunt of the damage and so Dedorak changed them to be less tasty to his cat and to have claws to defend themselves. And so the Eighth People were created and they are us.
On the twenty-first day, he decided that he had done enough for now and went to watch a football game with his mates. At the game he met a girl and forgot about his land for a hundred days. They were good days.
On the one-hundred-and-twenty-first day, Dedorak broke up with his girlfriend. He returned to his land and sobbed over it. His tears formed the Great Swamp and the Great Delta. At the end of the day, he fell asleep and when his head struck the land, it created a great shockwave. The quake killed many and changed the land yet again. Dedorak awoke, rubbed his sore head and went to bed. And thus ended the First Age.
On the first day of the Second Age, Dedorak created the Ninth People, the beings of love and lust.
On the second day, he shooed everyone out of the Plains of the West.
On the third day, he created the Desert in the West.
On the fourth day, he created the Jungle in the West.
On the fifth day, he realised that deserts and jungles shouldn’t really border each other and the jungle’s rains were getting the desert all wet. So, he created the Mountainous Wall.
On the sixth day, he created the Tenth People and bade them to stay in the Jungle of the West. They did not listen.
On the seventh day, he created the Eleventh People and bade them to stay in the Desert of the West. They too did not listen.
On the eighth day, Dedorak went for ice-cream.
On the ninth day, Dedorak came back to find the Tenth and Eleventh Peoples were fighting over the Mountainous Wall. Angered, he caused a fifth of the mountains in the Wall to erupt as volcanoes.
On the tenth day, he created the Twelfth People and instructed them to ensure that the Tenth and Eleventh stay in their areas. And that is why the People of the West are forever trying to kill each other.
On the eleventh day, he grew bored and went on vacation.
On the three-hundred-and-ninety-seventh day, he returned from his vacation and threw his luggage into the spare room. Forgetting that that is where his land was. The contents of the bag tumbled out, burning their way to the ground before exploding. And thus ended the Second Age.
On the eighty-second day of the Third Age, Dedorak moved the land from his spare room to his shed for his girlfriend was coming over and he didn’t want her to know about his old hobby. The land shook and moved and thus ended the Third Age.
On the nineteenth day of the Fourth Age, Dedorak showed his girlfriend the land and she liked it. Nothing bad happened to the world, which was a nice change.
On the twenty-sixth day, he created the Thirteenth People as a gift for her.
On the fifty-ninth day, he extended the land to the south beyond the mountains and created the Question Ravines. After he left for the night, the world tipped over for it was now unbalanced and thus ended the Fourth Age.
On the first day of the Fifth Age, Dedorak discovered that the land had fallen over and he created the Ice Lands past the Mountains of the North to rebalance it.
On the second day, he recreated the Question Ravines over and over again.
On the seventh day, he returned with his girlfriend and showed her the Question Ravines and she squealed and laughed and shouted YES! And then the two of them had happy-fun-times on the land, and thus ended the Fifth Age.
On the first day of the Sixth Age, Dedorak’s fiancee cleaned up some of the mess they had left.
On the one-hundred-and-third day, Dedorak and his wife showed the land to their first child. The baby reached out and tried to eat the Mountains of the North, breaking the tops off some and showering the Central Lands with rocks.
On the one-hundred-and-seventy-sixth day, Dedorak’s toddler got into the room and ran across the land. And thus ended the Seventh Age.
On the first day of the Seventh Age, Dedorak showed the land to his second child. The baby vomited into the Ocean of the East and created a tidal wave. And thus ended the Seventh Age.
And thus we come to our age, the Eighth Age. Dedorak and kin have not visited us for sixty-two days. May they forget about us forever.