A blog post should be many things.
Most importantly it should be readable.
The post that I just deleted before hitting publish lacked that essential quality.
A complication, I imagine, of writing at two o’clock in the morning without a coherent plan or aim in mind.
I want to talk about change. Specifically, I want to talk about the way that life can at once seem to be both vastly different to just a few scant months ago and yet be exactly the same. I never cease to amaze at the human ability to take even the most extreme of changes and remold it to fit our peculiar beliefs, habits, and desires.
At the same time, it saddens me in many ways.
Still, from time to time, some real change seems to occur around me. The last couple of months seemed to be one of those times. A new job. A real job. A job that I love.
More importantly, a job that gives me a great deal of self-esteem and pride (not that I really needed any more ego). The routine and stability that my job provides seems to provide a large number of benefits to my psyche and general happiness. Not to mention that I’m kept interested and stimulated by the constant need to learn another process or product. And, of course, I can’t go past the rather positive feedback that I seem to continue to accrue.
I don’t know if it is related to the routine and stability that the job provides, or if it is merely a coincidental timing – but I seem to have suddenly gotten to a stage with a Games Development project where publishing is inside the realms of possibility. Previously I’d never even get close. Now, suddenly, I find myself both highly motivated and highly confident in my ability to get this material out there.
Better yet, I’m writing on a regular basis again. Finally, a skill that I highly value and that I recognise needs constant practice to maintain anywhere near the standards that I expect of myself, and I’m actually using it again.
Albeit at times poorly.
Yet, the more things change, the more they stay the same.
A ridiculous portion of my time is still spent on the same two things – whining about certain aspects of life, and staying up in to the wee hours of the morning watching horrifically bad TV shows.
I find it saddening, intriguing, and reassuring all at once that humankind can be so resilient in the face of any change. We have an intrinsic ability to take a situation and make it our own. No matter what happens, we seem to be able to make it about ourselves. I find that to be rather promising.
Though I should perhaps just find it to be rather narcissistic.